About Children, Birth and Upbringing.
"Children love not the toys themselves, but the incipiency of mastership inherent in them. Children like to dismantle a toy and to apply it in their own way."(S.M.,298)
How to find the common language with our children, to learn what they think about, dream and where they strive? How to guard them against narcotics, ribaldry, how to give them knowledge which will permit them to become true people?
The Living Ethics deals much with the question of upbringing. But the same had been in all the times. Then what is the radical differences of the new knowledge from all that had been on the Earth earlier?
"Education of the nation must be provided with the primary teaching of children beginning from the earliest age. The earlier the better. Believe, the fatigue of brain is only from sluggishness. Each mother approaching the child's cradle will say the first formulae of education "You are able of everything". There is no need in prohibition; don't prohibit even the harm things, you should better draw attention to the most attractive and useful. The best upbringing will be the one that will manage to elevate the attractiveness of good. Besides, there is no need to mutilate the beautiful Images as though in the name of children's consciousness - don't humiliate children. Remember always that the true knowledge is always invocatory, precise, concise and beautiful. There must be at least the incipiency of understanding of education. After the age of 7 there have already been lost much. Generally after the age of 3 the organism is full of perceptions. The hand of the guider must attract the attention to the far-off worlds at the first steps."(Com.'102)
The Living Ethics gives the knowledge which permits parents from the moment of conception and even earlier to be guided by Living Ethics in the questions of upbringing the children. It teaches how the Spirit comes to the Earth, and how the energetic bodies are gradually formed. The child is considered here as the Spirit having gained some definite evolutionary experience and parent's task is to prepare him to the fulfillment of the next earthly task.
Today some investigators mark that biofield of the woman begins to change 3 months before she must become pregnant. Thus the ancient tales about the angels which fly over man and woman have every reason.
Quite important is the factor that namely Love attracts the Spirit to the Earth. "If love is of physical level only it otherwise will attract the spirit with good potential, of course if parents want to have a child at that moment. But if this love is sanctified by the more elevated feeling, in such a case there will be attracted the High Spirit - a talent, a genius who would be able to do much for the mankind.
The introduction of Spirit begins on the 7-th day after conception, the 28-th day is the next stage of involution. At the 4,5 months of the term of pregnancy the largest part of Spirit has already entered into the matter. But finally it enters at the moment of birth.
The breaking of the natural process at any of its stage is inhuman action due to the fact that the spirit has already passed all the planes of Subtle World and came close to the material plane. After abortion it often cannot go back to the level from which it came down, and so it replenish low astral planes. It is from here that there appears on the Earth people with heavy pathological character, ravishers, murders. If parents decide to deny accepting of spirit then they must also think over their own destinies.
It must be mentioned of course about the deliberateness in adopting the decision. More heavy consequences take place when people know about the responsibility for the destiny of an unborn child, but because of their own material welfare they do however abortion. Both father and mother bear equal responsibility.
The scientists carried out an experiment. An optical probe attached to videocamera was introduced into the womb cavity and the process of abortion was shot. After introducing the instrument the foetus began to wrinkle face, to pull closer legs and arms, trying to escape the instrument.
Future mothers and fathers, think over!
In the case when pregnancy and birth is not desirable due to some definite difficulties of the spiritual level you may then try to ask about the interruption of the pregnancy, applying in the heart prayer to the Higher World. But your arguments must be enough ponderable because no difficulties of material plane are not an obstacle for the life of a man.
And no matter how fantastic our words would sound we have some observations when after pure heart prayer pregnancy had been interrupted.
In your appeal to the Highest you must always remember "Your Saint Will is for all." And if your request will be rejected you must know that not only you, the whole world maybe is waiting for this children. So, accept this birth with all your gay and humbleness as the performing of the Highest Will.
And at last this sacrament has happened, and you are waiting with palpitation this coming of a new man. From the very beginning you must remember that the thoughts and feelings you experience would reflect the future of your child. The sacred eastern knowledge pay much attention to this period. The most important now is to live in harmony with your husband, to spend much time in fresh air, to read verses and to strive for Beauty and Subtleness.
"Not without reason it is offered to pregnant women to think of a Beauty and to have beautiful images around themselves" (S.M.,647)
After the term of 4,5 months the parents may begin to speak with the child and in the quiet evenings this communion will be mutual. You may achieve this if you have established the harmony of love between yourselves. And at last your child has come into this world. Keep in mind that it is rather difficult for him to adapt himself in our material life. He cries sometimes and we don't know why he does so. It appears that his cry is the expression of discordance of the material and the spiritual worlds. And it is love that can smooth this discordance.
"Mothers carry their children near heart butusually they don't know that this holding near the heart is the mighty influence."(H.96)
So your kid begins to grow up and you notice with wonder that his or her eyes reflects the infinite depth of Cosmos and its immense Love. Up to the age of 7 the child has been under the ray of the previous incarnation. He often says the words as if in an unknown language, and makes gestures unclear for us. Recollect also what mother liked best from food during pregnancy and you almost unfailingly learn where the previous incarnation had been.
"On the simplest examples one can see the directions on the forgotten foundations. Incomprehensible freaks of pregnant women will recollect the reincarnation especially if to observe the character of a child."(Br.,177)
A child came from the depth of Cosmos where everything belongs to the Spirit and at the same time He (Spirit) isn't tied to anything. He possesses the knowledge of the highest level and our task on the Earth is that our child could manifest this knowledge. The sacred sense of the parenthood is to give a child the possibility at most to manifest himself.
"We can give many examples when not only small children but also even newborn suddenly pronounced the words of great significance, and then they again plunged into their previous state."(F.W.,264)
We often think of higher education which we must give our child, look for a good job situation, we take supercare of him and consider our task to be done. However when son or daughter come into the conflict with parents we can't even suppose that it raised by the discrepancy of predestination.
We must remember that the spirit comes to the Earth in order to acquire some definite qualities, but for this task he needs definite circumstances. So as for example he was the prince or the king in previous incarnation and now he has to acquire the qualities of communion with ordinary people and to discern that any person may be cordial and pure. Perhaps he must overcome his mean features in some definite environment, but we'll try to teach him music, or will make him to get higher education instead, the result of all this is the discord of energies. It often brings a man to the internal conflicts, and having lived his life through, a man cannot manifest and fix the necessary qualities and would be obliged to return to the Earth again into the same environment. Would such care be a good for this man?
Observing your child you'd better try to discern his true task in this life and then you'll always find a common language with him. Watch your child apprehending the world. Try not to abuse and more over not to punish. In India they don't punish children up to the age of 5 because they consider that any punishment is harmful until the child understands why he is abused.
Try to talk to him!
But if he doesn't understand? Oh, no, he understands, but he understands most of all the language of Good and Love. Learn the science of tolerance, and it will bear its fruit. Don't teach your child to be aggressive, malice and greedy - these features, having originated in childhood certainly will effect yours' with him relations.
The attitude of parents to children reflects the high Cosmic Love.
What is the difference between Cosmic and the earthly Love.
In this Highest Love we see the manifestation of the Law of Sacrifice, when that who loves doesn't think of what he can receive from the object of his worship, on the contrary he feels satisfaction when he himself can give something. Mostly parents are ready to give themselves to their children not demanding anything in return for if only their dear sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters felt themselves well. So the parent's love in its energetic vibrations is the closest to Cosmic love. But the highest love possesses the true knowledge and always discern good and evil, and so far acts always towards good having differed in this aspect from the so called "blind" parent's love.
The creation must take the honourable place in mutual occupations. Encourage creation. It's one of the stimulus of the spiritual development.
After the age of 7 the development of the subtle energetic bodies of a man begins. The most difficult period is from 10 to 14 when the development of astral body goes especially impetuously. We cease understanding a child who doesn't very often understand himself. Most of all children suffer from incomprehension. At this period teen-agers are very sensitive to the manifestations of your own emotions, they percept false, feel if you try to brush them aside. They keenly apprehend all the imperfectness of our world, when behind the beautiful outer words the hypocrisy is hidden. The quarrels of their parents affect them particularly harmfully.
Having come home from work and having not found the teen-ager at home we think "You dare, you'll come and I'll give you what-for!" A child, possessing supersensitivity catches your thoughts and subconsciously doesn't come home. Try to protect yourself from the words "You may not come home at all! You'd better not to be born at all".
You must bear in mind that this period is characterized by maximum suicides among teen-agers. Understanding that thought is energy don't instigate somebody's tormenting soul to the abyss.
When you come home and didn't see your child think with all love in your heart: "My darling, come quicker, we are waiting for you, we love you", you'll see wonderful thing, in 20-30 minutes he'll rush home gay and sound.
Watch and analyze your relations with your children. For many of us it's the main task on Earth to bring up a child.
In the intercourse of parents and children we may see the manifestation of Law of Karma, you must know that our children are the spirits who come to us "to receive old debts".
Sometimes mothers come to our Centre and make complains against the son " He doesn't spend the nights at home, steals money from the purse, and they begin to blame school or street: "They badly influence him". But cannot be so that you yourself turned away from him. Any sane man knows how a little child reaches out for his mama, and if now hasn't been so, then who is to be blamed?
"The Great Wayfare liked to open the memory. He brought children nearer to himself and not only asked, but touched with his hand strengthening the brightness of remembrances. He not only liked children but He saw in them the advance of mankind. Having treated them like adults He was right, for when the far-off past or the Subtle World is recollected then the mind becomes adult. Children never forget about that who appealed to them like His equal. They will keep such remembrances for the whole life. (S.M.,172)
Treat your child as your equal, love him sincerely and you'll see yourself how the mutual understanding is returning.
From the age of 14 till 21 the mental body is formed. It's important in this period to encourage any creative occupations. Children like to attend different circles, to read science fiction, to invent, to construct something.
Thinking processes are being formed. It's important to support the inventive vein. A child tries to do many things by himself, and if he disassembles an alarm-clock or an iron and cannot assemble it, don't abuse him, but help him. If you cannot help, buy him books, which will help him to understand the inner structure of the appliance. Perhaps he will become a great constructor when he grows up.
Try to acknowledge that there are no material thing on the Earth which is equal in its value to your child. And maybe it sounds somewhat blasphemously, but you'd better understand it from the words that the smile of a child is the dearest of all the diamonds.
In this period you may see how the spirit again comes nearer to his earthly task.
In the children's upbringing one of the greatest difficulties is the overcoming of the cravity for TV. It, having attracting the whole attention practically doesn't permit a man to develop his inner qualities. In pedagogical practice some cases are known when parents didn't buy TV set until the children reached of definite age. But for the adults themselves is rather a difficult thing not to switch on "the box', and to establish in the family creative, confident atmosphere when TV set doesn't become the host of the house.
One may give a lot of advices as to the children's upbringing, but the main among them is: let the Fire of Love burn always between you, and let every day become the day of creation. But in difficult times don't get tired of drawing of the pure fountainhead of knowledge of Living Ethics which will open a knew joyful world for you and your children.
"Teach the happiness of beauty.
Teach the happiness of knowledge.
Teach the happiness of Love.
Teach the happiness of the confluence with God. (Call,4.03.22)
"Only little ones don't apprehend now, that all the wealth of the country both spiritual and material, depends on the basis laid down into the consciousness of children, but nevertheless nothing is being done in this respect. I agree that the books about heroes and feats are especially urgent. With the help of these books one can easily deepen the child's consciousness and to guard him against the main damnation of our time, corroding the whole construction and the whole advancement of a mankind, namely against the lightminded attitude to the most sacred principles, against superficial thinking due to which all the life construction is built on the sand and at the first shock is crumbled into the shapeless heaps of sandy chaos.
Teach children to understand the importance of each thought, each deed, each Nature manifestation, and the depth of its immutable laws, heavy punishing its infringer.
Show that all vitality, all creativeness both ours and of all the other reigns of Nature depends on an invisible world, invisible vibrations of rays which are emanated by the Great Lifegivers, Great Zealots of Spirit both of the past and present. Children will easily accept the reality and the strength of this invisibility so as their imagination isn't seduced yet by self-destructing doubt." (Letters.,15.01.32)
"The consciousness of adults sometimes dies off for certain period while children always sharply accept some valuable qualities. The adults frequently don't respond to the notion of heroism, but children like peoples heroes. They admire the feats and dream to see themselves on the place of the champions of the truth.
It's impossible to deprive children of this living source of inspiration for the whole life such light burning will remain. Not a sensuality is this aspiration but growing of consciousness which gets in touch with beautiful image.
By all means one must guard such contiguities, the notion of Brotherhood originate from them."(Br.,470).
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